heed my words

WHEN: dec. 8 2020, 4:47am

it hurts a lot thinking about S. i miss him so fucking bad. but he was really bad for me. he reinforced a lot of bad habits in me but god Fuck does it hurt being away. i havent had a full conversation with him in about two months, and havent said a word to him in general in about a month. i know it was a trauma bond, but i weirdly really miss being used :/ technically its all im good for, so i shouldnt be away from him since hes getting his use out of me, but i know it isnt healthy. whatever. probably just going to bury these feelings deep inside me and distract myself with youtube or sleep.

but.. on the bright side my build a bear lab, butters, is really soft and cuddly. i got her some cute dog clothes today at five below :) she weirdly smells like a real dog who just got a bath, so thats cool. i dont mind it, its actually really comforting. i got leggings at target today also, and theyre really comfortable

WHEN: dec. 7 2020, 6:45pm

ive been impulsively spending a Lot of my money recently but oh well. i have even more webkinz than i did before, and i have even more coming in the mail. legit cannot wait

i just got these lanky cats by manhattan toy, goldie and snow, and im so fucking excited for them. will be taking so many pics of them. i got a build a bear lab and my 3rd webkinz love puppy today in the mail. theyre still in the dryer atm, their third round in there, but its ok!

im going to target when my dad gets off work at 8 and i have a $10 off $50 coupon so im excited. gotta get a few things and thatll come in handy. i might get an outfit for my BAB lab also, apparently theyre sizes small/medium in regular dog clothes.. we'll see :)

my first entry here is a happy one! im glad! ^^

here are my cats: